“Stretching to reach it,
Running to catch it,
we get lost.
Pretending to be enlightened,
we become dim and foolish.
Trying to ‘do it right’,
Looking for praise,
we receive nothing.
Grabbing hold of it,
we lose it.
All of this strutting, striving,
straining, and grasping
is excess baggage.
The very freedom it promises does not appear
until we lay it down.”
-Tao- Verse 24 from the book A Path and A Practice
Dave and I have become enrolled in another Landmark seminar. It’s fantastic. The title alone was alluring enough to sign up right away (even though I did have my own reservations at first due to lengthy time commitments and an hour drive each way). Nonetheless- “Causing the Miraculous”. Ah, doesn’t everyone want the miraculous in their life? Don’t we all want to taste a miracle, have its very essence swirl around our being and continue to plunge into our soul where we become stirred enough to live differently? I certainly believe that’s enticing. Throughout my life, even though I was Christian and believed that God was the only one to grant miracles, there weren’t many in my life that I can count. My mom was severely ill throughout my teens. There was a time I sincerely believed that she was going to die; I had to mentally prepare myself in case this became a reality. It was during those days that I would pray hard…for a, yep, you guessed it, a miracle! Since I was in mainly in the dark with knowing the details of her condition, I didn’t have a lot of hope. As hard as I prayed she got pretty bad…a little bit better…and then worse than ever. I wanted off that roller coaster of sickening, depressive worry. I had no clue what to believe in at that point. I became angry. One friend at the time tried hard to convince me that trusting in God was the only way to not worry. So, after much debate, during the two treacherous weeks my mom was in the hospital nearly dying, I switched over to full on belief. But, I gave it up pretty quickly and flung all notions of prayer and God out the window. I remember saying at one point out loud, “God, or whoever, if this is really her time just take her already! I don’t want this, but I can’t handle the pain of not knowing.”
After all of this, my mom made it out. It was a slow recovery, but she lived. It was then I thought, ‘wow, what a miracle! Maybe now she’ll change her attitude and live a different, happier life.’ I’m not entirely sure that happened, as her gratitude for life didn’t grow as I had expected; she actually continued to be negative for a while. It was disheartening. So, instead of her having this brand new outlook on life, I grasped it tightly. I didn’t want to be miserable and negative. I realized life was too short. As difficult as it was, I squeezed my way out of it a little. Part of me believed it was the power of prayer that brought her back to life, yet that wasn’t my only miracle.
Dave was my next miracle. He was with me while I struggled with my mom’s health issues and long hospital stay. Without expecting anything or asking him, he just naturally became dedicated to helping me through it all. Talking with me and listening to me in person and emailing me profusely. Compassion flooded out of him and into me every time I saw him, which was every day, every other day at least. He just did it. Every word spoken and written to me held immense significance; there wasn’t a time when he didn’t say the perfect thing at the perfect moment. I felt peace and reassurance. Dave also was mentoring me to love my mom in ways I’ve never loved her before; he desired to see our relationship flourish. Those moments were beautiful and I will forever cherish them.
To this day, this man still releases his unconditional love to those who need it. Those who are far away in distance and those that he hasn’t spoken to in years. It totally astounds me how he is able to do this. The complete, selfless compassion that pours from his soul is beautiful and moving. Recently, he did this with someone he knows in Australia, and another friend that he reconnected with after years of not seeing her. I watched him help them in the exact way that he helped me. Honestly, lovingly, kindly, helpfully, selflessly. Miraculously! He’s my miracle.
Last year there was another incident where I witnessed Dave be generously giving. There was a homeless man that lived in an old, rusty van at our storage business. He was a recluse, schizophrenic, yet very much content with his lifestyle. One day, he was in a rage. Dave decided to drive down to the business to see what was up and to possibly chat with the homeless man. Even though the homeless man was upset and angry and yelling…Dave never got mad at him. Instead, he simply listened. He asked him a few questions about the current situation, then eventually asked where those feelings/actions of anger could have stemmed from. Due to the way Dave asked, the homeless man poured out his story of why he didn’t like being around people. Turns out, he was bullied a lot when he was much younger. Now, I wasn’t there when Dave had this conversation, but I during the recount, Dave told me that the homeless man thanked him and felt much better after. Again, true compassion.
I asked Dave how he does this. He actually said that sometimes it’s like flipping a switch. He’ll be in one frame of mind, and suddenly, when a situation would arise, he would switch to full on loving mode where he would be able to give himself fully. He admitted he loves when this happens as he “loves to feel.” Meaning, he loves feeling every emotion there is, especially the mushy ones. 🙂 And I love it, too! It’s an inspiration to me.
According to Landmark’s definition of a miracle, it’s an event in time that knocks your socks off and forces you to reinterpret life as you know it. Dave’s total soul-baring love has made me reinterpret life in the way that I question, “why aren’t more people like this?! Why am I not like this? It’s just…so natural and flowing with him. Deep and meaningful.” Everyone could use this type of deep love. In a tough situation, it takes seconds to get angry, lash out, scream, call names, blame, cry. But it takes minutes, hours, sometimes days or longer to find deeper compassion and actually express it. Whether it’s in the form of forgiveness or help. It takes more effort and time to be loving; there’s no simple chemical reaction firing away in the brain to help you do this as with anger. And that’s sad! Humanity as a whole needs to practice this sacred way of being. It would be wonderful if compassion came before judgement, if love came before automatic hate. Hate is based on fear and fear is based on the past. It’s a trend in everybody.
We need to take the time to be in the now. We need to take the time to break the trend of hate. Realize we are all full of love that’s just waiting to be poured out! In our communications, even during a difficult situation, no matter what that situation may be, think in peace. Be peaceful. Take hold of the situation and react in a kind, loving way without a loss of personal power. We are the only ones in control of ourselves. The more you practice, the more it will become natural. Realize that the moment you’re in will pass as you handle it with grace and ease. You also have to know that miracles won’t come if you expect them, if you try hard to make them happen.
I’m working on it, and yes, I’ll admit it is a bit of a challenge as I’ve been conditioned to just react in outbursts. When something happens, I try to stop myself in the moment and then think, ‘is this really worth getting worked up over?’ Usually the answer is no. Even after a situation has passed, I would think back and ask myself, ‘why did I get so upset? I just wasted a lot of time here.’
Take the time to be grateful for everything in life. Every challenge, every struggle. Everything! In the now there is gratefulness, in gratefulness there is peace. In peace there is happiness. In happiness there are miracles. Miracles are waiting for you! They will appear only if you create the space for them to live, breathe, and thrive.
Have you caused the miraculous to happen in your life lately?