In Every Moment, Be Grateful!

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Your alarm rattles your brain in the morning. You reach over, and hit that snooze button for the fifth time. “What’s the point of getting up today?” You might ask yourself.

What you might not be asking yourself is, “What am I grateful for today?” When you’re down and out, that certainly can be an annoying question that you most likely wouldn’t want to answer. Yet, through my personal experience, others’ stories, and articles of research, it’s proven that being grateful ultimately alters your overall state of being.

Launching into the day with grateful thoughts can seriously boost your mood and attitude; you can then carry those feelings with you all day long. If you need a refresher, take a break in the middle of the day to be grateful for whatever you have in that moment.

There are a couple tricks to helping this stick. Let’s start with the morning. Don’t just passively list a couple things in your head when you wake up like, “oh yeah, I’m grateful for…I dunno…my bed, and my pillow?” It’s extremely helpful if you have a journal, notepad, scrap of paper, so you can help make those things more real. Grab your paper right when you wake up and just jot down a few things that you truly feel grateful for- even if it really is your bed and pillow! Nothing is too small. Notice how you start to feel as you jot things down. Feel free to jot those feelings down as well. Write down as many as you can think of.

I personally struggled with getting up in the morning just a couple years ago. To me, there wasn’t anything to get up for…no activities to do that really sparked my interest, nowhere to go, just…nothing special. I felt miserable. I had no routine to get myself into. And Dave would always have a multitude of activities to keep him busy. This added to my feeling down. I always compared myself to him and what his life was all about. I was completely missing what was right in front of me!

We both stumbled upon this super cool journal called “The Five Minute Journal” about a year ago. It’s a gorgeous, hardcover book which includes an inspiring intro section on how to use it, and pages designed to help you become motivated, on track, and yes, grateful! There are three short sections to fill out for the daytime, actually, right when you wake up: three things you’re grateful for, three things that would make today great, and a daily affirmation. For the evening, you fill out “three amazing things that happened today”, and a section on how you could have improved your day / what you could have done differently. It took me a while to get into the habit of writing in it every day…especially in the morning! I would begrudgingly and drowsy-eyed pick up the book, stare at the page, and just kind of blank out. What on earth was there to be grateful for early in the morning?! Okay, so long story short, I got it. I really got what the little book was about. And it totally shifted my whole perspective on mornings. Not just mornings… being grateful caused a reaction in my brain that helped me with my overall attitude. No longer was I a slave to feeling down.

The fun part is that there are no limits. You don’t just have to write about the big things, but little things count, too! You could be grateful that you’re warm, that you are able to write, that you got your hair cut yesterday….anything! I would often write things like, I’m grateful for my four cats. I’m grateful for my boyfriend, Dave sitting next to me. I’m grateful for the sunshine coming through the window.

I found myself smiling as I wrote.

When finished, I would get up, feeling much happier than I did right when my alarm went off. I would go about the rest of my day making mental notes of all the things that made me grateful. And again, I would smile.

How does this all work, anyway? Aside from all the research, I personally believe that humans as a society are naturally inclined to look at the negatives, to complain, and to find it easier to be down than not. Why? Struggle is the biggest commonality amongst everyone! Jobs, finances, romance…the list is endless. What’s the first thing most do when they get into a conversation? Talk about what’s going on in their life, and what’s not working. We search for that outside sympathy. We have to justify our feelings. Oh, your job sucks, too? Yeah, so does mine, I totally get you. Let me tell you more about how mine really sucks… It’s a vicious cycle that can consume your entire life.

Reality check- It doesn’t have to!! By all means, anytime now, break out! There isn’t any enlightenment in playing a victim, in just agreeing with someone else’s misery, in contributing to the misery bucket that’s most likely overflowing. Instead, share with someone what you’re grateful for. Pause, look around, look in the mirror, see the positive, and talk about gratitude. Lift one another up. There’s so much benefit both physically and emotionally.

Your car breaks down, it’s raining, you’re alone, and your cell phone is nearly dead. What’s there to be grateful for? Be grateful that you’re okay! That you didn’t get into an accident, or injured. Be grateful for the 5% of battery life that’ll get you one call to get you out. The point is, is that there’s always a plus side to the negative- always. The light of gratitude can be found in the darkest of places.

The only moment we have is now. Right now. And, now. Now.

What are you grateful for?

Please check out this link to the Five Minute Journal! And make sure you read my review of it on their page! I promise it’s pretty wonderful.

The Five Minute Journal

Creating Healthy Boundaries

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“When confrontation arises, we face it without aggression. When someone opposes us, we do not give in to anger. We view no one as a competitor because we do not seek our own way.

We know our strengths and we know our weaknesses. We use them each for benefit. We are not trying to fix ourselves or others so we move naturally and easily along our path.” –Tao Te Ching (translation of verse 68)*

Sometimes, you just gotta walk away. Take a deep breath, and take some steps back. Are you dealing with someone that you still want in your life but your relationship isn’t quite meshing? Have you been trying to convince them of a point of view, an attitude, a new way of being, a belief? There are times when no matter how many words you say, conversations (or arguments) you have, a person will not change their view. And that’s okay! Instead of getting stuck with spinning tires, lay off the gas, and turn the motor off! Breathe. I’ve been learning and practicing this essential trick for the past few months with my family.

Here’s a secret to letting go: realize it’s not the person that you are walking away from- it’s their behavior. I struggled with that concept for a long time until Dave led me to a personal epiphany. So many times people are quick to judge. Quick to doom a situation. Quick to give up and think that they have to get rid of the person that they are in conflict with. Yep, that’s where I was! In my mind, I was never going to have my family back, because they will never change, and the only solution to heal the pain then was to detach completely. And that felt pretty crappy. I still yearned to talk to my family and remain in close connection.

I had to give up what was in my way since they weren’t willing to give up what’s in their way.

It didn’t take me long to drop all my “nevers”. Why worry about some invisible future that may or may not happen? I held onto my mindset of being in the now. Right now. No other moment. Not in the past or the future. Eckhart Tolle sums it up quite well- “What a liberation to realize that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am. ‘Who am I, then?’ The one who sees that.”

Sometimes it’s crazy hard to let go, and just be in the present moment. Therefore, it’s even more difficult to create those healthy boundaries! Typically, you remain trapped on the hamster wheel, spinning faster, and faster, (coming up with more and more arguments as to why “you’re right”) and eventually, your legs run out of stamina and you’re flung off and splattered against a wall- defeated.

If you’re truly dealing with someone you authentically care about, show them! The greatest gift you could give them is a boundary! With a boundary, you can still communicate. In my case, the boundary was not physically seeing my parents because they refuse to acknowledge Dave. That hurts both of us. Yet, I created the possibility of still being as close, and loving as I can to them. I call my mom often, and we chat for hours! We haven’t exchanged gifts in about 3 years…last year was the first! I could speak with my dad more easily, too. What it boils down to, is that I can just be myself.

After all, when you’re just yourself, your completely honest self who’s not trying to resist, not trying to change, or feed into drama or create it, who could hurt you?

Beauty reigns in simplicity. It all starts with a conversation. Talk to the person you care about that you feel you have to create a boundary with. Stand firm in your belief. If the other person becomes angry, or sad, remember to not take it personally. They have a right to their feelings, too! It’s also healthy to let them express everything they need to. There will come a point in the conversation when those options are exhausted. There will be an energy shift where you feel a mutual understanding being reached. This is a good place to end the conversation peacefully. Express your care, and love for that person, and hopefully they will return it back. After this, all following conversations should be easy.

How can these boundaries be overcome if one person isn’t willing to budge, yet continues to be civil and close, but distantly?

I’ve come to believe, with Dave’s insight, that if the person in opposition truly cares, and feels that they want to reestablish a connection, or mend some aspects of the relationship- they will. They will be the one to come to you to mend some broken fences. (I have yet to experience that, fully.) But! I am happy to say that that has happened with an Aunt of mine. Dave and I are becoming closer with her, and the feeling is amazing!

Pro Tip: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT ever blame the person that you’re upset with. When you blame someone, you make them wrong. In situations like these, no one is right or wrong. Keep that in mind when attempting to work it out.

Hold a space in your mind, in your heart. Your boundaries won’t last forever, but in the meantime, they will be healthy!


 

*Image result for a path and a practice by william martinQuote taken from one of my favorite, most influential books- A Path and a Practice by William Martin.

 

 

 

Perfect Stranger of Yourself

Can you imagine looking at your current self as a complete stranger? Can you imagine completely dissolving the haunting, disillusioning power that your mind has on you? And, can you imagine tasting freedom, not for only one second, but for one lifetime- the flavor lingering on your tongue for as long as you desired?

These were things I could never imagine just a few years ago. I was stuck, trapped, a slave to endless shortcomings that were driving me insane- but insanity never tasted so good…back then. Insanity quickly melted into seething sadness and endless anxiety. Day after day wondering why I was doing what I was doing, wondering why I was with the people I was with, wondering why those close to me were creating the deepest pain, and wondering…was life worth it?

Breaking apart the mind to separate despair from delight is no easy feat. You can spend your whole life bending, pushing, pulling, only to find your fingers slip, your body fall. It took me years to break my mind apart, and I can admit that the sadness still finds its way in amongst the bliss I encounter pretty much daily at this point.

So, what happened?

I gave up the fight and fought at the same time. I relinquished the despair that had its grip on my mind. I gave up those that were no longer serving me. I was hurting people I loved. I was becoming distant to those that wanted to be close. As difficult as it seemed at the time, I just made the decision to let it all go.

So, how did I let it all go? (Like that’s ever easy!)

I stopped giving my brain the power to rule over me. It was all an illusion. I took responsibility for the hurt and harm I willingly and sometimes unknowingly gave to others. Then, I shook the past from my back and decided that it no longer could survive in the present. It would only suffocate the present, and therefore the future. The past can never complete you. It certainly can never come back, and it can undoubtedly never help you be free.

Whether it’s an act that you find as some immense transgression, words that you spilled that stained another, or simply, a loss of a loved one who had your heart, it’s all destined to be overcome. Don’t be weighed down by those events. As they are in the past. There’s a peculiar lightness in the now. Right now. You are free, right now. You’re not suffering. You only tell yourself you are. There is more to life. Pay attention. Now.

Even in the present- the recent past, I’ve had to let go of my mind’s trappings as they were inhibiting me from accomplishing goals. Not only that, they were affecting my overall attitude toward life, my mood, my boyfriend, and his mood. My loss of motivation, sadness, anxiety toward the future are tools my mind uses because of the past. I remember events from then and link them to the present, because the past is all the mind knows and knows what to draw from. We’re constantly making comparisons. But again, it’s the PAST. It’s gone. We have nothing but now.

The results?

For me personally, I look down and see my skin, I feel it. I know it’s the same skin I’ve had for 24 1/2 years. And my face, yep, those same features. They were always there. At one time I wanted to both crawl out of my skin and was ashamed to look in the mirror because of the things I did. I felt ugly. Horrendously, hideously ugly at who I became. But now, I feel like I’ve been reborn. Completely. That old me is the stranger to myself. This renaissance has given me new light. I feel more alive, lighter, filled with endless possibilities. I know I feel different, but I sense that others see me differently, too. I now can show up differently for my family and friends that only knew the old me. This might be a shock to them; they might want to deny everything and attempt to hang on to their perceptions of me as I was when I was closer to them. But all that matters in the end is that I am me. No reservations. I have nothing to hide. Nothing to be ashamed of. I have and can take responsibility for all that I’ve done. Integrity means the world to me now. I’m not just doing myself a favor. This is for everyone. My boyfriend. My parents. Family. Friends. The world.

Anything is possible.

Are you ready to take hold of your possibilities?

 

I am Darkness, I am Light

Everything is born out of darkness. The planets, in their infinite intrigue, the sun in all its brilliant splendor, the moon graciously illuminated by the sun, the tiniest plants that emerge through a million granules of dirt. And, us. Humans, created inside another human, curled up, eyes shut tight, surrounded by- darkness. Upon birth, we are welcomed by light. The same light that continues to nourish us until we close our eyes and once more welcome darkness before we transition onward.

I’ve come to believe that if we didn’t experience darkness, fall into it, feel it seep into our core, we wouldn’t transform or progress. We would never see our faults…to ourselves, to others. We’d be condemned to a life of complacency and self-righteousness.

On the flip side, remaining in the darkness for too long can be unhealthy, and downright dangerous. Let me share with you some very personal stories of my darkness. The darkness I became trapped in, and the darkness that helped me break through to blinding white light. These are two poignant times of my life where I can think back to and remember the lessons learned.

The blackest darkness came during a period of time I was dealing with my family with another unconventional relationship with an older man. Back then, I was no where near who I am today, so I didn’t know how to communicate in an effective manner, to take responsibility or to get help. Honestly, I didn’t know who I was or what I was doing. During that period, I became stuck. After lying to my parents about being at college during a spring break when I really wasn’t, my parents were enraged and upset. So was I. They told me that they didn’t want me to come home for the summer, which was only two months from that spring break. Initially, I thought, okay they’re really mad, but they’ll come around and we’ll have a good, long, hard, rational talk. Well, we did have that. They did say that I could come home (with all kinds of stipulations…that I was willing to accept since I was so desperate to come home). I was thrilled. A little upset over said stipulations, but I didn’t care. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be with my parents. It was true turmoil leading up to this point in trying to apologize and negotiate. So, after I began feeling better, my parents and I had another talk, and when we did…they shifted their viewpoint and changed their mind: they no longer wanted me to come home. They were adamant about not letting me. I had no where else that I wanted to go. Places to go- probably. Places I really wanted to go- none, not even to my ex’s. Devastation and pure rage hit. I had one of the biggest breakdowns ever in that apartment on the fourth floor. Screaming, crying, hyperventilating, throwing books…etc. This went on for quite some time, all the while my roommate and her boyfriend at the time were over. Embarrassed, I explained what happened and why I was a wreck. There wasn’t much they could do. Days passed, and I calmed down, but the inner torture and turmoil did not. The situation was so extreme and difficult that my older, distant boyfriend at the time was helpless. At this point in my life I was barely open about my liking older guys. There probably was only a short list of three friends that knew. Of course, I was terrified of judgement back then. Point is- I had trouble reaching out to them. The friends I did couldn’t help me. Depression spiraled, and like any desperate, depressed soul, I contemplated suicide. I wrote a letter (not a letter that I was going to do it), but a letter that I was considering it, because the situation got so bad, to my parents. They were going to be the first to know. My senses came about and I realized after writing out the letter, that I couldn’t possibly go through with it, even though I felt strongly left alone. I tucked the letter away and didn’t talk about it. Soon after I chose to see a counselor, (which didn’t help in the slightest). So, on I remained in my utter darkness. Alone. Afraid. So afraid. Desperate. Sad. Lost. Completely lost.

Long story short- I remained in this until one day, my parents finally changed their mind again and said that I could come home. I did, and that summer was certainly a difficult one for numerous reasons. That darkness was not the good kind. I would like to say I’ve never experienced a darkness  like that after, but sadly there were other episodes.

Now! Here’s a story about how I was able to identify my darkness and get out of it. About a year ago, as I was sitting with Dave at the kitchen table, I was in a facebook messaging argument with my mom. When I was finished, I was so flustered I bawled. Dave immediately was concerned and thought of a solution. That solution: the Landmark Forum. After attending a personal intro, (begrudgingly I might add), I attended what were the most intense three days of my life. Within a windowless room with a peppy woman as a leader, myself and about 100 other dubious souls sat, listened, participated and ultimately transformed. Not everyone did, and in the beginning I didn’t think that I would either. I could go into immense detail about the weekend, but I’ll save that for another post! This long story short was that, during that time I realized that a lot of the darkness that I was encountering was within me! All of it. Every drop. I literally “didn’t know what I didn’t know.” Then, I discovered what was hidden, and felt that I had to take action. That action was calling up my mom on a warm, sunny Saturday afternoon in May, on a park bench in the middle of Philly. It was tough. I recall sitting there, heart ready to bust through and fly across the park, nervously fidgeting, telling Dave that I couldn’t do it over and over and over, until- beep. Riiiing, riiiing. “Hello?”

A lump the size of Texas arose in my throat and I found myself unable to properly speak. “I can’t understand you!” My mother said as I started crying. Finally, the words came gushing out. I explained to her where I was, what I was doing and how it was helping me. Then I went on to apologize for the past. For all those times I lied and hurt her and my dad. In those brief moments, moments that I would carry for a lifetime, I became fully responsible for the old me. The old me who fought and lied and hurt her parents. I let it all out. There was silence for a time after. My mom didn’t know what to say. She eventually admitted that she was really hurt. But then went on to say that things couldn’t be different from the way they were. I didn’t get angry, but tried to tell her that yes, things could be completely different. Our relationship could be mended. I guess she couldn’t see what she couldn’t see. Time was up; I had to get going to make it back in time. After informing my mom of this, I told her I would most likely call again. I think she had tears at this point and said okay.

I said, “I love you.”

Silence.

“I love you.”

My mom hung up without those three words in return.

I lost it again. Hurriedly collecting my things through tears, we went back. I shared my story to the now less dubious 100 some strangers. It was liberating.

Ever since then, I have been a completely different person. The Landmark seminar I’m currently in is continually helping me see my darkness, to be in it, and to help me know and see that there is a way out. But I can’t know that way out unless I’m in the “sewage”. I get that! If you aren’t willing to see where you are stuck and struggling, either because you don’t want to, or because you’ve just adapted to the sewage, darkness, what have you, then you won’t be able to be open to or have a miracle.

Now, every dark spot I am willing to recognize. I know that I’m in it. I recognize and acknowledge what’s going on and right where I’m at. I know that I can get out. Some hard conversations might ensue…conversations with my parents about their harsh attitude about Dave. But those are the ones I need to have in order to show them the darkness, so that maybe we can get out of it together.

I’m not saying that Landmark is the solution for everyone. But I know that everyone can get out of their darkness and become the brightest beacon of light in their own way. Take the time to recognize where it comes from, how you got there, what you’re feeling/how it’s making you feel. Then analyze the possibilities of the situation- the possibilities where you could break out. Really look at all of them. Don’t just settle for the first one that comes to mind. Surprise yourself. If that means having a difficult conversation with someone, do it. Let go of fear. If that means seeing a counselor or doctor, do it. If that means looking into different self-help programs, books, or workshops, do it! In order to make the change you wish to see and live you have to take the first step. And I know that the first step is the hardest! Once you make it though, you can continue walking forward, positively into the direction of your dreams and desires.

It all starts with you and what’s deep inside!

From Dec. 13, 2013- The Butterfly Effect

General definition: “The idea, used in chaos theory*, that a very small difference in the initial state of a physical system can make a significant difference to the state at some later time.” -thefreedictionary.com
“From the theory that a butterfly flapping its wings in one part of the world might ultimately cause a hurricane in another part of the world.”
“…highly sensitive to initial conditions…”
*Chaos: “When the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future.”
Lots of science, lots of math. Weather patterns…weather problems…this butterfly effect stands for a lot of complex systems. Yet, I can make it stand for a completely different system- of philosophy and personal experience. My glorious friend of mine used this term in a conversation via text recently, and I wasn’t quite sure of the full meaning, other than the one he provided for me, in both English and German: “small cause, big effect” and “kleine ursache grosse wirkung.” He used this simple, yet profound phrase to describe the effect I’m having on his life from all that I’m doing supposedly. I’m continuing to blow him away with everything I do. It’s incredible. Within the last three weeks or so, major transformations have been occurring…not only in him, but within myself as well. In the span of that time, I managed to provoke some inner demons within him, which caused anger, hurt, sadness, anxiety, guilt and shame. More of his past was revealed to me in that time. A lot of turmoil was experienced one day, yet the after effects were much greater, I believe. Along with all of the self-discovery that happened that day, there was a lot of happiness. Pieces from the past were connected to the future and the present– fears that were harbored for years, and ugly images and thoughts that were buried were brought to the surface and faced with immense courage- a courage that is deeply unique and inspiring. My friend was able to clean  it up mostly with my help, guidance and encouragement. To me, it’s still mind-blowing and astounding the effect I’m having on his life. Yet, I couldn’t feel happier or more blessed for the amorous occasion.
This is something that I believe anyone can experience, if they are willing to open themselves up, dig deep and discover hidden secrets that may have held them back for years, they can release the darkness and create more space for that love to flow in. When in a relationship, it’s something that can be good for both people…I believe the discovery, constant challenging conversation, and support, even with the struggles, can bring them closer for a better relationship.
It is possible to be someone’s butterfly, to flap your wings in their life to create a hurricane of change that will last a lifetime.

From Nov. 26, 2013- Integrity: Lifting the Veil of Everyday Expectations

One word- communication. We speak to numerous people every single day, but do we really think about the words that are being delivered and decoded? Probably not. With the rapid changes in technology that practically write our thoughts for us, where’s the meaning? How can we reclaim the lost art of actually speaking to another human, face to face?? I have been delving into the art of communication…not just as a necessary function, but as an experiment to see how good I really am at it. I’ve been paying attention more to how I phrase things, the timing of a response, how confident I am at saying it, and the most important one…seeing how honest I really am in both everyday conversation as well as the more meaningful ones.

I’ve learned there’s a lot that can go unsaid. And a lot that can get lost and be misinterpreted along the way if there’s a lack of honesty. The worst part, is if it’s not addressed, it just becomes an open invitation for judgment and unwanted emotions. If you can be open and honest with another, you can erase the opportunity for problems. It’s incredible, but it’s a challenge. With integrity comes great responsibility and the challenge of breaking out of your comfort zone. Well, for me it has been anyway, for both speaking it and hearing it. This can be taken back to that long lost friend mentioned in my previous post…he is the one who is inspiring me to take a closer look at this type of thing because he is the one working on it diligently and challenging himself.

Through talking with him extensively, I have learned that there’s more to communicating than meets the eye. During my reconnecting with him, there were a lot of questions asked, and a lot of answers given. Some not so clear at first, but with some refining, they became clear, and issues that even arose were cleared up. It’s an astounding transformation process that’s making me see what a lot of people don’t. They either don’t understand the importance of good communication or are ignorant, and refuse to take the time to do so. No wonder so many relationships and marriages fail!

If there’s anything I would change, it would be how I express myself towards others. Generally, I am upfront and honest, showing my true emotions, but I’ll admit there are times with friends that I don’t do that as much as I should. I’m hoping to continue my endeavor of bringing integrity back to life. I want to be about not holding back, or feeling ashamed over things I may believe in that others may not. I have a desire to bring issues out into the open as to clean them up so they don’t remain anchored in the past or within myself. And with the past, it’d be great to be able to discuss that, too. You can learn so much about yourself if you look back and make connections from then to now and even be able to solve lifelong issues that may have built up. There’s too much in life to enjoy in the now! This is why I choose not to have regrets. There’s no time to dwell and or feel bad about past actions or consequences. Happiness is about learning from mistakes, either self created or not, and moving on in a positive, constructive fashion. I’m learning it’s totally doable! As with Love, I want to take this a step further and show others that it’s not impossible to overcome issues they may have within themselves or others.

If you dig deep enough and become true to yourself, you can let go of a lot, therefore clearing space for love. Love needs that space to thrive and flourish. Begin with integrity, end with results of lifelong happiness and unimaginable love and freedom.

From June 11, 2013- What is Eternal?

One of my favorite Trans-Siberian Orchestra songs, “What is Eternal?” from Beethoven’s Last Night (2000), poses some good, deep questions, that I just started pondering lately with a friend. The lyrics go: “And here in this night, as I feel the inferno, I stare in the dark, thinking- what is eternal? The man or the moment? The act, or the reason?…” So, my friend decided to bring up some interesting points about that one question…what is eternal? The man or the moment? He asked his own question then answered:

“Can the man, over the course of a lifetime erase that one moment?  I think the answer depends on the interpretation of eternity. If eternity were an elongation of time, then the man would be eternal, and the moment would be almost meaningless.”

I responded saying that I don’t think a moment could ever truly be erased, rather, just overridden by the next moment and the next and the next. Kind of like waves in the ocean, one waves crashes right into the next, creating a beautiful display in the ocean. Our lives are like the ocean, and the moments, the waves. Eternity is the universe in which they both exist; the moon, pulling the waters over and over again.

That response that my friend made, also poses this question in my mind…how many moments are truly meaningful in our lives? Are they all meaningful? Considering cause and effect of every little thing we do, which can connect to the bigger picture? Or are only the larger, more significant moments meaningful? Because those are the ones that impact us and possibly others the most? …I personally believe every moment in life, no matter how small, or large, is significant. And all those moments add up and even can come back to us in some way. It’s a cycle.

Back to the original question…man is not eternal, well man’s soul is, but as for moments, I like to believe that some are. That when we transcend to another life, moments and memories follow to be looked back upon. The same with both act and reason combined.

Then again, maybe in the end, they all wouldn’t matter. Because we’d be in a completely new realm; a place where those past moments and memories wouldn’t have any meaning compared to what was to come in eternity…